befraxis blog

Lately, I think people are investing too much energy in the idea that they “must find their soulmate.” Where do we get this idea that we are somehow not complete unless we are connected to another person? What are you? An electrical outlet waiting for a plug, so you can finally light up the world? Frankly, when I hear the word “soulmate” I tend to give a little shudder, especially when I think about some of the people in my past that I have considered to be my soulmates. Quite frankly, most of my soulmates were idiots! The Buddha would say that they were also my teachers — people I have known in a previous life time who have come back in this lifetime to teach me a lesson. Boy did they, but unfortunately, it sometimes takes several soul mates to teach us just one lesson. (Hint, hint — I think the lesson is supposed to be about “letting go” and stop trying to control, or own people — a common problem in this society.)

Most people think that they have found their soulmate just because they feel a strong connection to a person. Unfortunately, that connection may not have anything to do with spirituality at all. It is amazing how lust can convince us that we are spiritually connected to a person. The person may just seem familiar, because they remind you of an ex boyfriend, a parent, or even someone who molested you as a child. I also hate the way the term soulmate is often used by people as an excuse to stay in a relationship where they are clearly being abused …half the time the abuser is using the concept of the soulmate as blackmail: “but you have to take this crap from me! You’re beholden to me. I knew you in another life!” You can tell your soulmate is an idiot, if he left you eight months ago and you feel like he is still hanging around in your aura, or even worse, visiting you in dreams, or plaguing you with unwanted thoughts like “this was really all your fault, you know.” Time to evict this tenant from your cosmic field.

When it comes to soulmates, I subscribe to Oprah’s theory “that everybody is your soul mate.” In theory, you don’t have to have sex with every soul mate you meet — a soul mate can also be a child, a relative, a co-worker or even just a good friend. One of the hazards of getting involved sexually and emotionally with someone who we believe was sent to us by God, or who we think was sent to us as “an angel on earth” is that we often become over attached to them and have trouble severing the connection. Notice how anyone you’ve gotten rid off doesn’t qualify as a soulmate… but anyone who dumped you automatically ALWAYS makes the grade … ironically, you hear most people describe the last person who dumped them as their one and only soulmate. If they were such a great soulmate, then why didn’t they stick around to build a future with you? Oh right, your soulmate was an idiot, too. It’s O.K. to admit your soulmate is an idiot, by the way. It makes the angels laugh … Forget meditation. There’s nothing that dissolves bad karma faster than a bit of humour.

Samantha Steven’s articles have been published in many high-standing newspapers and she has published several books. If you wish to buy Samantha’s books about metaphysics click here http://www.insomniacpress.com/author.php?id=110
You can meet Samantha Stevens at http://www.psychicrealm.com where she works as a professional psychic. You can also read more of her articles at http://www.newagenotebook.com

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While not necessarily New Age in nature, Samantha has noticed a lot of clients asking questions about their potential beaus lately and she thought this refreshing change might be just what was needed to help our female Realm members keep things in perspective regarding their male paramours. Enjoy!
-David -

Believe it or not, if you go into forums on web sites that are devoted to the subject of how to pick up girls, you will find people posting messages about something that is called the mating rating system. Reading one of these forums is kind of a rude wake up call if you ever thought that men “rated” us on such qualities as humor, intelligence or charm. Instead this rating system, which in a state of constant debate seems to be based on leg length, the size of your lips, how high your cheek bones are and whether or not you have big breasts.

The Male Rating system finds its origins in the movie”10″ starring Dudley Moore and Bo Derek. This was a romantic comedy that was made in the seventies that featured the adventures of a neurotic alcoholic who was looking for a woman who he considered to be a perfect Ten on his personal rating scale. He finally finds her in the person of Bo Derek, who is six feet tall, has long blonde hair, full lips, icy blue eyes, legs that go on forever, a tiny waist and a very vacuous smile.

My opinion is that if men are going to rate us, there is no reason why we can’t develop our own system to rate men. However because men are more sex oriented and women are more relationship oriented our rating system is going to be a little more sophisticated. It also won’t be as racially BIASED as the male rating system, which seems to prefer the Aryan ideal of the Nordic Queen.

To find out how your male rates on our rating system answer the following questions by choosing an option below. Choose only one option. You can add up points as you go along. Be forewarned you will never find another rating system anywhere that is as honest and forthright as this one. It is based on very realistic criteria that could bring your head down out of the clouds and could really make you think twice about who it is you are going out with.

What level of education has he completed?

Elementary school 1 point
Grade Six 2 points
Grade Nine 3 points
Grade Ten 4 points
Graduated High School 5 points
One Year of University or College 6 points
Two Years of University or College 7 points
Completed College but no degree 8 points
Completed College With Degree 9 points
Post Graduate Degree 10 points

How much money does he make a year?

$ 0 to $5,000 1 point
$5,000 to $15,000 2 points
$ 15,000 to $25,000 3 points
$25,000 to $32,000 4 points
$32,000 to $36,000 5 points
$36000, to $42,000 6 points
$42,000 to $50,000 7 points
$50,000 to $70,000 8 points
$70,000 to $90.000 9 points
$ Over $90,000 a year 10 points

Has he had?

One Heart Attack or More 1 point
Full dentures 2 points
More then five dental crowns 3 points
Smoke a pack of cigarettes a day 4 points
Back Problems 5 points
Migraines 6 points
Allergies 7 points
Occasional Muscle Strains 8 points
No cavities 9 points
No Health Problems whatsoever 10 points

Has he ever been diagnosed with any of the following?

Schizophrenia 1 point
Manic Depression 2 points
Paranoia 3 points
Personality Disorder 4 points
Anger Management 5 points
Attention Deficit Disorder 6 points
Obsessive Compulsive 7 points
Depression 8 points
Anxiety 9 points
No disorders 10 points

In the past he has:

Been jailed for a felony 1 point
Charged with drunk driving 2 points
Charged with assault 3 points
Been a member of a cult 4 points
Been jailed for a misdemeanor 5 points
A member of AA or (blank) Anon 6 points
Declared Bankruptcy 7 points
Attended church once a week 8 points
Participated actively in a charity 9 points
Donated more than $5000 to charity 10 points

Which of the following terms or phrases is he most likely to use to describe his ex?

Slut 1 point
Bitch 2 points
Pathetic 3 points
Selfish 4 points
Too Needy or Smothering 5 points
Codependent 6 points
Troubled 7 points
Sad 8 points
A tragedy 9 points
A great person “but it didn’t work out” 10 points

Which of the following statements describes best how he spends the majority of his free time:

Spending time with his wife or ex 1 point
Drinking with his buddies at the bar 2 points
Sleeping 3 points
Watching sports 4 points
He spends his free time at work 5 points
Spending time with his mother 6 points>
Reading 7 points
Participating in sports 8 points
Working on a favorite hobby 9 points
Participating in community events 10 points

Which of the following statements describes him the best? Only pick one:

He hates his mother 1 point
He is sullen and moody 2 points
He is a bit lazy 3 points
He is a bit of a dreamer 4 points
He worships women 5 points
He is very hard working 6 points
He treats his mother like a Queen 7 points
He loves children and animals 8 points
He loves to dance 9 points
He has a great sense of humor 10 points

Which of the following actors in a movie does he remind you of the most?

Al Pacino in Scarface 1 point
Matt Damon in “The Talented Mr. Ripley.” 2 points
Mickey Rourke in “Nine and a Half Weeks” 3 points
Micheal Douglas in “Fatal Attraction” 4 points
Jack Nicholson in “As Good As It Gets.” 5 points
Owen Wilson in “Zoolander” 6 ponts
Adam Sandler in the “Wedding Singer” 7 points
Tom Hanks in “Castaway” 8 points
Kevin Costner in “Field of Dreams” 9 points
Will Smith in “Independence Day” 10 points

Pick the one action that he has done MOST OFTEN to you:

Slapped or hurt you even accidentally 1 point
Humiliated you in public 2 points
Called you a name in private 3 points
Made fun of your career 4 points
Prevented you from going out on your own 5 points
Displayed jealousy over your ex 6 points
Lent you money 7 points
Bought you a box of candy 8 points
Brought you flowers 9 points
Made a meal for you 10 points

Now add up your points. You should get a double-digit figure. Move the decimal point one digit over to the right so that you have a rating out of ten. For instance if your man’s rating is 79 then he is not a Perfect 10 he is a 7.9.

My theory that is that if the mans rating is 6.9 or lower than the relationship is not likely to last very long. If it is 5.0 or below, you should drop him a look for your own “Perfect Ten”.

Samantha Steven’s articles have been published in many high-standing newspapers and she has published several books. If you wish to buy Samantha’s books about metaphysics click here http://www.insomniacpress.com/author.php?id=110
You can meet Samantha Stevens at http://www.psychicrealm.com where she works as a professional psychic. You can also read more of her articles at http://www.newagenotebook.com

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To tell you the truth, I’m a little disillusioned with the term unconditional love, lately. It’s just not “natural”. The phrase has been used for decades, by psychologists, therapists, A.A. types and the overall spiritually minded to describe how one should cope with impossible behavior.” The original principle behind the concept, was to help the person who is being abused accept the circumstances and not have to live in a perpetual state of resentment towards their partner. You, as the
codependent (ie the one who is always hurt) is supposed to see your partner as “sick” and not blame him or her for their actions. You’re supposed to love and care for the adulterer, batterer, gambler, manic depressive or alcoholic the same way you would someone who has the flu. Husband comes home drunk? Sober him up with cups of black coffee and a dose of your eternally burning, unconditional love. Boyfriend unfaithful? That’s O.k., because you have unconditional love for him that will last for an eternity. Girlfriends rack up your credit cards again with her compulsive shopping? You’ll take care of the bills because you’re love for her is undying and unconditional and you’ve told yourself “”I’ll always love her no matter what ….”

Those of us who have been there know that we can only comfort ourselves with the concept of unconditional love for so long until the relationship becomes too expensive, emotionally, socially and financially. This is often more serious then the kind of consequences we pay when someone is sick with “the flu.” Plus lately, after talking to many clients, many of whom are still paying in one way or another for the irresponsible behavior of a full grown adult, I am starting to conclude that when the person with the “ism” or “recently diagnosed personality disorder” is on to us then out comes the term unconditional love. If we say no or object to the behavior, he or she can always turn around and go “but I thought you said your love was me was
unconditional!!!” This puts us on the defense because it implies that we are the ones who are unloving and unlovable. I think the appropriate response is “well then why don’t you go out and find someone who will agree to co-sign your B.S.!!’” If they’re A.A. trained they’ll probably snap back with “that’s what you get for having expectations or preferences of me…you know I’m sick!”

I think love is conditional. One of those conditions is “trust.” If you have unconditional love for someone, it is implicit you don’t trust them, especially if you’ve condemned yourself to a lifetime of loving him or her “no matter what.” Love is a natural thing, like a flower, that one should expect to bloom and its o.k. to be disappointed if it doesn’t. The nature of love is to grow, compound and multiply and not destroy. The next time you fall in love, put terms and conditions on it and demand a 200% return on your investment. It’s your precious energy!

Samantha Steven’s articles have been published in many high-standing newspapers and she has published several books. If you wish to buy Samantha’s books about metaphysics click here http://www.insomniacpress.com/author.php?id=110
You can meet Samantha Stevens at http://www.psychicrealm.com where she works as a professional psychic. You can also read more of her articles at http://www.newagenotebook.com

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O.k., you’re standing there all alone at a party and in the far corner of the room your boyfriend is talking to some groovy chick. She’s coming onto him and much to your dismay, he doesn’t seem to be bragging about all how happy he is in his relationship with you. In fact, he even seems to be encouraging and indulging the shameless slattern’s disgusting, desperate, gall-filled pleas for sexual attention. So you a) burst into tears and run from the room b) go up to him and drape yourself around his neck so she can’t miss the fact that you and him are “together” or c) stand there and repeatedly tap his shoulder with your finger going “Um honey, honey, honey, I have to talk to you … until he finally is forced to turn around and scream in your face “WHAT!”

Actually, none of the above are the right answers. Unfortunately, the minute you display jealousy, you convey neediness and insecurity and according to Jungian psychiatrist William Rock Penfield, people of both sexes find this extremely unattractive in a partner. What they really find attractive is something called “the unattainable.” That is why your boyfriend is flirting with the gorgeous interloper in the first place. He knows he belongs to you and therefore she becomes attractive because she is unattainable. Another reason we flip out, and become jealous is because we know we’ve already been “attained”. The person knows he already “has you” so there is nothing to chase… no thrill to the hunt… the cupid’s arrow has already met its mark and now you are about as sexually exciting as a carcass thrown in a burlap sack.

No,the best thing for you to do in such a situation, is to mirror his behaviour. Make yourself unattainable. Replace thoughts like “No, no, no ….please don’t do this to me.” and ” Please, please. Stop. Stop flirting with him!” to “Oh so you think you have this relationship in the bag do you…. while here’s me brushing my breasts up against your best friend’s arm and here’s me batting my eyelashes at that guy you hate and here’s me smiling and waving at you like nothing’s wrong … nothing at all!” Make like you’re the wild unpredicatable one –like what he’s doing doesn’t matter –like you could leave this party at any minute with his successor. Before you know it, he’ll be the one casting you the anxious looks, as you dirty dance with the cute guy you just met near the fridge. If he doesn’t, maybe you should consider leaving the party with the new guy. Or girl.

Because this mirroring trick works on both sexes. What doesn’t work is begging, pleading, crying and trying to blackmail the person into never doing it again, later, when you get home in bed. Who wants to be with a needy, whiny jealous person. What a turnoff!

Samantha Steven’s articles have been published in many high-standing newspapers and she has published several books. If you wish to buy Samantha’s books about metaphysics click here http://www.insomniacpress.com/author.php?id=110
You can meet Samantha Stevens at http://www.psychicrealm.com where she works as a professional psychic. You can also read more of her articles at http://www.newagenotebook.com

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To manifest love through creative visualization, you first need to learn how to suspend or hold an image of the desired outcome in your mind in as much detail as possible.

For instance, let’s say that you need to resolve an argument with a dear friend. The first thing you need to do is empty your head as much as possible of all thoughts so that your mind seems like a blank slate. It is also essential that you get as still and as quiet as possible to encourage a meditative state. Some find playing a favorite piece of music encourages one’s imaging faculties.

Before imagining any goal, you might want to assist your imagination by asking yourself a number of questions. What does your friend look like? How is she wearing her hair the day that you run across each other? Is this a random meeting or does the phone ring first? What kind of conversation will you have on the phone? Where exactly will you meet? What is the expression on her face when she sees you? If you want her to smile when she sees you, picture her smiling. Picture her hugging you. Picture what you don’t think is possible. Visualize, in the greatest detail possible, the best outcome to the situation possible. Experts say that the more detail that you can imagine, the more likely you are to manifest the event in the future.

THE HOUSE OF THE HEART

Picture the individual that you are concerned about in as full detail as possible. Now imagine that the person is shrinking smaller and smaller until he or she easily fits in the palm of your hand.

Now imagine your heart as a tiny red house with a door. Open the door to one of the chambers and put the tiny person inside and close it. In your mind, reassure the person that they are “safe in your heart.”

LOVE MAGNET CREAM

You are at the cosmetics counter of a fancy department store. A smiling woman dressed in pink and gold offers you a sample of a cream to try for free. The jar is gold. The label on the jar reads Love Magnet Cream.

You take the cream home and open the jar. Inside is a glowing pink cream. You take this cream and apply it to your hands. As you do you feel a pleasant tingling sensation wash over you. As you apply more, it transforms your skin, making it radiate a transparent pink, silver and gold light.

As you apply this cream to the rest of your body, you feel yourself growing younger, happier and more vibrant with health. You imagine yourself becoming more magnetic to love.

You decide to get up and take a walk. Let your imagination take you to where you want to go. Where does your imagination lead you? Who do you meet on your path? Whoever manifests in your visualizations can give you clues to the direction your love life should take.

FLOWER STAR GARDEN

Imagine that you are strolling through a desert at night. You have been stranded in this desert for forty days. You feel dirty and thirsty, but there are no plants, no ponds and no water to be had at all.

You look up in the sky and see thousands of fat, shining stars. You look up at one star and make a wish. Suddenly the star falls and plops into the sand below you.

Even though you are very dehydrated, you find yourself shedding one tear. This tear lands on the site of the fallen star.

To your amazement, a sprig of green shoots up through the desert floor. This soft tendril grows in accelerated motion. It unfurls leaves and a giant bud. It is up to you to picture what kind of flower it is, but it is not a flower that you have ever seen on earth. The flower is huge, the size of your head or even larger. The bud opens up to reveal its petals. Notice the flower’s vibrant color. Inhale its heady and alluring fragrance. Does it smell like fruit, or roses or chocolate? Touch the petals. Do they feel like satin, feathers or velvet? When you touch the flower it begins to emit beautiful music. Try to imagine what this flower looks like in as much detail as you can…

As the flower opens up you notice that it is cupping a small pond full of water. You scoop this refreshing liquid up into your hands and bathe your face, hands and body with it. You take a long, refreshing cool drink from between your cupped hands.

After you have drunk from the center of the flower, you look up and notice that more stars are falling from the sky. They plant themselves in the ground and spring up tendrils and buds. At first there are just a few of these flowers, but soon, more fall. To your amazement no one flower seems to be the same as another. As each one blooms they spill water onto the barren ground forming ponds and pools with waterfalls. Many of these plants grow large and house birds and other animals. The heady aroma of the perfume of this enchanted forest fills your nostrils. You take deep exhalations and relax in this magical place filled with music, flowing water, nature and the velvety blackness of the night sky.

Your relaxation is interrupted when you hear a noise. You sit up and see a person approaching you. What does this person look like? Have you met him or her before?

This person reaches out to you and embraces you. The person that manifests in this visualization can provide you with important astral information about what it is you need to correct in your love life or whom you might meet in the future.

Samantha Steven’s articles have been published in many high-standing newspapers and she has published several books. If you wish to buy Samantha’s books about metaphysics click here http://www.insomniacpress.com/author.php?id=110
You can meet Samantha Stevens at http://www.psychicrealm.com where she works as a professional psychic. You can also read more of her articles at http://www.newagenotebook.com

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Here are some very simple rituals, some old, and some new that might help you achieve your romantic intentions.

A bouquet of roses set in the southwestern corner of your bedroom is thought to attract love.

To prevent a lover from straying, light a green candle to St. Martha and ask her to keep him faithful to you.

To find out if your lover will stay with you, cut an apple in half and offer him or her the other half. If he or she accepts the apple, he or she will be with you a long time.

Feed your lover a fig, with your initials carved lightly into it, to keep him or her faithful.

Select the following cards from a Tarot Deck - The King of Cups, the Queen of Cups, the Ace of Cups and the Lovers. Fan these cards around a pink candle and light it. Keep these cards spread out in this configuration for a period of seven days. This is an affirmation of your romantic intention to find or keep a lover or soulmate.

Procure a lock of your lover’s hair and twist it with a lock of your own in a clockwise direction nine times. Tie both ends with red thread and place in a safe place, such as a locket. Carry this in your pocket.

To have him or her think or dream of you more often, anoint the corners of a photograph with orange and rose oil and place the photograph under your pillow.

To attract a new lover, light a red candle to St. Barbara and ask her to make you attractive to your soulmate.

To keep you on your lover’s mind, do this after each time you part ways. Strike a match on the heel of your shoe and say “Be True.”

To bless your marriage and keep him faithful, serve him cooked cabbage on the new moon of every month.

Burn a pink candle, carved with both of your initials inside of your heart, along with the planetary symbol of Venus, to draw your lover to you.

Serving your spouse rhubarb pie on a full moon will keep him faithful.

To ensure that a relationship will last, fill a glass with water. Let him or her take a sip of it and then take a sip of it yourself. Then purposefully drop it so that it breaks. Collect the shards and bury it in the backyard.

Carry a rose quartz as a love talisman to draw love to you.

To arouse lust in a partner, scratch his or her name into the side of a red candle, anoint it lightly with olive oil and light it.

To find out how many more months a troubled relationship has left, cook some kidney beans. Place what you think is an equal amount of beans on your plate and then on his. Count the beans on each plate. The difference in the number of beans you have on each plate tells how many months you have left to work things out.

Wear copper jewelery, the favorite metal of Venus, to encourage loving vibrations around you.

To have him or her think of nobody but you, take two separate photographs, one of you and one of him and sandwich them with faces against each other. Bind this together with pink and red ribbon and keep in a safe, secret place.

To keep a man faithful, anoint his photograph with oil that has been soaked for three days in rosemary leaves. Rosemary assures the dominance of the female in the relationship.

To encourage a proposal serve your lover a bowl filled with seven strawberries covered with cream.

Samantha Steven’s articles have been published in many high-standing newspapers and she has published several books. If you wish to buy Samantha’s books about metaphysics click here http://www.insomniacpress.com/author.php?id=110
You can meet Samantha Stevens at http://www.psychicrealm.com where she works as a professional psychic. You can also read more of her articles at http://www.newagenotebook.com

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He hasn’t called in hours. You call and get the roommate: “Oh, sorry ….he got in really late last night and is still asleep!”

Your mind starts racing: “What did he do last night?” Your heart starts to pound. You feel sick to your stomach.. Uh, oh… you’re jealous. You feel like you can’t live with yourself one more minute until you find out what is going on … suddenly, the potential threat to the relationship becomes the most important thing in the world … more important than eating, working or concentrating on tasks at hand. More important than … living life itself.

According to Canadian psychiatrist Dr. Irving Walkoff, “Nobody escapes jealousy. It is a natural human reaction that finds its basis in evolutionary biology. The roots of this are ancient and Darwinian —part of “the survival of the fittest.” You see the other woman as being somehow better than you — the assumption is that they are better at adaptation, better at seduction, a better parent … in short are more fit to continue the species than you … this triggers a fight or flight response in many people. Jealousy is there to protect you and your DNA — the desire to pass on your DNA is your portal into the future.”

It might be perfectly natural to experience jealousy, but in most religions, this emotion is still considered to be ugly and morally repugnant — a feeling to be stifled with either copious amounts of prayer (Christian) or by practicing zen detachment from object attachment (Buddhism). In the 13th century the Italian writer St. Cyrus wrote that “he who becomes jealous imitates the Devil.” .

Canadian psychiatrist Dr. William Pennell Rock affirms that jealousy is a spiritual crisis. “Most people make the mistake of thinking they own another person …your problem is not with your partner, but with a God so cruel and perverse that he would actually consider manifesting a threat that might take your partner away from you. It also doesn’t help that most of us see the one we love, as our direct connection, a way of having love channeled to us from God. Unfortunately, people are fallible so that is a
connection that ultimately cannot be trusted. So, is there any way of slaying The Green Eyed Monster before it rears it’s ugly head and becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Nobody wants to stick around a green-eyed monster for long. According to Rock, one must learn the difference between attachment and love. “The truth of love is that it is unconditional. Attachment is quite different… Attachment is not care for the other; it’s care for oneself. This distinction has to be understood: Are you loving? Or are you attached? If you are attached you are going to experience the pain of jealousy. It follows that jealousy becomes the opportunity to see within yourself the truth of attachment. Not theoretically understanding, but existential awareness of attachment at its very roots. Only through this awareness can jealousy really be transcended.”

Marion Woodman, authour of “Addicted To Perfection” says some of us choose to be jealous, simply because we are addicted to creating drama. “We will create a crisis, whether the partner is in the picture or not.” That’s why so many people still create scenarios about the departed partner or imagine what they might be up to months after they have been abandoned. That .It is better to be attached to a negative memory, or even torture yourself with a negative thought that links you to the partner, rather than face the abyss of being alone.

The bottom line is that a healthy person is able to choose the way they perceive any situation. Both psychiatrists and moralists describe jealousy as being crisis of faith. You are not so threatened by the fact that your partner might leave you, but more by the idea that God won’t take care of you if he or she does…perhaps the best way to slay the Green Eyed Monster is to slay the ego, have faith and learn how to take care of the self.

Samantha Steven’s articles have been published in many high-standing newspapers and she has published several books. If you wish to buy Samantha’s books about metaphysics click here http://www.insomniacpress.com/author.php?id=110
You can meet Samantha Stevens at http://www.psychicrealm.com where she works as a professional psychic. You can also read more of her articles at http://www.newagenotebook.com

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Disaster results when we see women trying to change a man’s behaviour. According to evolutionary biologist Rosie Mestel, what women perceive as bad male behaviour (lying, cheating, ogling other women) is actually part of a biologically based prime directive to procreate as fast as possible. All the poorconfused thing is doing is behaving “naturally”: trying to solve the age-old problem of passing on his genes before he croaks.

Therefore I ask you women out there –would you put a bird in a stream and expect it to fly? Perhaps that’s why men see so many women as controlling, or even cruel.

The desire for commitment is another bad symptom that defies the laws of nature. According to University of Texas psychologist David Buss, “forever is a long time for a guy.” A woman only produces twelve eggs a year, and each growing baby represents a huge investment of her time and energy. Men on the other hand have buckets and buckets of sperm so it is in their best interests to impregnate as many women as possible to increase their chances of reproducing themselves.

A long time ago, in the caves and jungles, a man would know when a woman was ovulating because she would, like chimpanzees still do, display her swollen red genitals to males. Women, don’t do that any more, unless they’re a lap dancer.”

Apparently men stick around because subconsciously, they are trying to figure out when a woman will ovulate and release her monthly egg. The woman mistakes this hanging around for a desire to “commit” to her. Of course, the only commitment that may result is to an insane asylum. Whether they will admit or not, a male’s primary directive is to impregnate somebody who is female — you and whoever.

People in Paleolithic times didn’t “fall in love.” They were too busy. They fell into tar pits and drowned. By the way, it may also interest realmers to know that when it comes to sex “looks are everything.” That’s why men like to ogle Pamela Lee Anderson . Anderson s a perfect .07, which is the ratio that is arrived at when you divide her waist measurement by her hip measurement.

According to Devendra Singh, a professor at the University of Texas at Austin, this particular hip-to-waist ratio is the equation of “lust.” Lust is a healthy state, as opposed to love which is of course a state of mental illness. Women with a waist to hip ratio of 1.0 or over or 0.6 or under are immediately kicked out of the gene pool, as the male’s subconscious “discriminate breeder within” sees those women as either sick, pregnant or too old to bear their progeny. By the way, the doll Barbie, who’s .58 wouldn’t make the grade.

Many of you will protest these findings and insist that you can make up for your lack of physical beauty with personality, charm and talent. Sorry! According to Randy Thornhill of the University of New Mexico, when it comes to procreation, “beauty is everything. ” Both men and women look for symmetry in a partner, as, a long, long time ago, in the jungle, asymmetry led us to believe that our partner was riddled with horrible parasites. Also, men prefer women with little chins because estrogen is involved with jaw development. Evidence of estrogen makes them go “Aha!

Fertility! An excellent place to deposit a seed!” Women especially complain that “he tells me he loves me, but he doesn’t act like it.” According to Buss, over the millenniums men have developed the capacity for deceitful smooth-talking to fool women, who have evolved inbuilt lie-detectors to counteract this problem. The male knows a woman won’t sleep with him if he has intentions to run off afterwards, so he lies to her. That is why women spend so much time engaged in the do-you-think-he-really-loves-me routine with their girlfriends. However, men have evolved to think that they actually believe the lies they’re spouting; he is sincere in the moment, that is — until he gets want he wants.

Even more infuriating, at least to women, is the results of Buss’s studies on post-coital attraction. Apparently, when asked how they felt about a partner after sex, most males said they were “less attracted” while most women said they were “more attracted”. I guess Mom was right about saving it ’til you’re married.

Love is the only disease where people actually seek out punishment. Unfortunately, the only cure for love is loneliness. So if you find yourself all alone this Valentine’s Day, take heart. At least you’re sane.

Samantha Steven’s articles have been published in many high-standing newspapers and she has published several books. If you wish to buy Samantha’s books about metaphysics click here http://www.insomniacpress.com/author.php?id=110
You can meet Samantha Stevens at http://www.psychicrealm.com where she works as a professional psychic. You can also read more of her articles at http://www.newagenotebook.com

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Sometimes, after a relationship has ended, many of us have problems letting go. A lot of my clients often complain of feeling haunted or even possessed by the dearly departed (who probably isn’t even thinking of you at all and is busy happily running away with his or her new partner.) It’s like the person has left an indelible imprint upon your heart and many of us feel that we can’t go on until the ex returns. The energy of the ex might be manifesting itself in all sorts of ways — in what you perceive to be little omens or reminders that occur in every day life (such as a phrase or song lyric) or even as a visitor in your dreams.

There are all kinds of cures for this phenomenon, (everything from burning bundles of sage to clear the room of the ex’s vibe to throwing out every single reminder of him or her, including the bed.) Yet before you ditch the Sealy Posturepedic, I suggest you try this little exercise called “Cutting The Cord.”

The idea behind this is that whenever we connect to someone we connect to him or her at the point of our solar plexus, the area just below your diaphragm. When we first meet someone and fall in love, we spend a lot of time building up this energy which lightworkers say looks like a rope of light that connects two people. However, even after one person disappears, the rope can still remain. Often, the person who is left behind spends a lot of time fortifying that rope with his or her own psychic energy in an attempt to bring the person back. The ex can compare to a psychic vampire, who is gleefully sucking back the energy that the dumped person is sending them. It doesn’t even matter if you are sending them bad thoughts or resentment. That energy is often translated to them in the purest form of astral energy — and they use it to transmute and feed their new relationship. So in order to prevent yourself being sucked dry by the psychic vampire, oops I mean the ex, I suggest you try this: Lie down on the bed, breathe deeply and become as relaxed as you can. Now picture the other person and the cord of light that you created when you thought the both of you would be connected for all eternity. Visualize that cord as best you can and examine it.

How thick is it? What colour is it? What is it made of? Now choose your weapon. What will you use to cut this cord? Do you need a knife or is the connection so strong that it can be broken only by hacking at it with a machete? If a machete doesn’t work, try a buzz saw. My favourite is a huge pair of golden scissors. Now, in your mind’s eye, snip, hack chop, sever … do whatever you have to do to cut the cord. Picture the other person floating away from you like a helium balloon let loose in the sky … and smile and wave “bye bye!” Oddly, one of the side benefits (or drawbacks depending on how you look at it) is that the other person senses the detachment. Like a greedy psychic vampire, they will come back to see where their source of energy has gone. So not only does this exercise your astral health, but it often brings the ex back. That is, if you even want them back at all.

Samantha Steven’s articles have been published in many high-standing newspapers and she has published several books. If you wish to buy Samantha’s books about metaphysics click here http://www.insomniacpress.com/author.php?id=110
You can meet Samantha Stevens at http://www.psychicrealm.com where she works as a professional psychic. You can also read more of her articles at http://www.newagenotebook.com

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Mairi came into my life about two years ago. She came from Arizona with a cheap trailer, four kids from three different fathers, and a seriously negative attitude. We met on a frosty October afternoon and with my Victorian upbringing, I developed a seriously negative attitude toward her. However, as time went on and I matured, we evolved from wary strangers into polite acquaintances then into comfortable friends

Her trip from Arizona was fraught with headaches which don’t have anything to do with the story so we’ll ignore them. She moved into a Wisconsin trailer park with a house made for 80 weather and her last electric bill was almost as much as all of my utilities put together. Since she had no money and no income other than public assistance, she became dependent on her father, Edison. Edison lives about 100 miles from her. And since everything was going wrong with the trailer, Edison spent many hours and dollars fixing things. Actually fixing just about everything. Like the doors, the windows, the plumbing, the heater, the furniture and sometimes the kids.

Kids are 12 year old Stone, 10 year old Amaryllis, 5 year old Zoey and Fritz, the baby at 2. Stone and Amaryllis were fathered by her first - and only - husband who whiled away his time drinking, drugging and mishandling the family. Zoey’s father, Manny, plays a large role in Mairi’s life now, but at the time of his child’s birth, took off and left them. Little Fritz’s father is now in jail. So Mairi didn’t have any support, paternal or financial, bringing up the kids. Surprisingly enough, except for a few mild instances of running away, tearing up the house, starting fires, lying, stealing and cheating, the kids are pretty good. They behave well in restaurants, which has always been my idea of the ultimate test, and they’re very loving. To me, at least. And their grandpa. And uncles.

Mairi has two brothers, Joker and Brick, who affectionately consider her an idiot or in more forgiving times, a ditz. She gets excellent advice from her father and brothers which, if she had to pay for it, would cost her a couple of her kids. Giving up an arm and a leg would make life difficult. Unfortunately, she knows best and anyway marches to her own drummer.

For instance. Prior to moving to Arizona to live near her best friend, April, Edison pleaded with her not to go because she would be all alone if anything clouded her relationship with April. She claimed all would be well because April was her best friend and they’d help each other babysitting, drinking coffee, eating cookies together and generally reenacting the Brady Bunch. About two months later April stole money from Mairi and accused her of sleeping with her husband. Apparently, she never accused her husband of sleeping with Mairi, though. She then stole Mairi’s truck and hid it from her. That was about the first time Mairi thought that maybe her father had some sense. Not a lot, perhaps, but some.

Then there was the matter of moving the trailer. In her more financially comfortable days, Mairi bought a lot in Arizona and put the trailer on it. She built a fence completely surrounding the property, had drainage ditches dug, ran gas, electric and phone lines in and made herself a very nice nest.

When the love affair with April fell apart and Mairi decided her best bet was to move to Wisconsin, she contacted a realtor by telephone to sell her lot. She never met with the realtor nor did she give the woman any instructions other than “sell it”. Well, as they say, out of sight, out of mind. Mairi moved and realtor Wanda forgot all about her. Why bother with a $2,000 commission?. Edison kept after her to make contact with Wanda to see what was happening but Mairi, not unlike most of us, doesn’t like confrontation so she creatively came up with one excuse after another. It’s now been 18 months and still little has happened. To be fair, though, she did get a new realtor assigned to her property but Jill isn’t anymore interested than Wanda.

Manny reentered her life a few months ago. He has a bit of a rap sheet, severe credit problems, no job and bad teeth. Bless him, though, he treats all of the kids as though they were his own. Management by screaming. Well, Manny, after much nagging from Edison, has found himself a good job but, his past is catching up with him and he has problems with his taxes and the court system meaning that he’ll have to take time off from his new job to perform community service and visit the IRS. Do you think the new job will sit still for him? But Mairi is happy he’s there, nonetheless, albeit it’s a little crowded with six people in an 800 square foot house.

Mairi was suffering from endometriosis and had a hysterectomy several months ago. She claims her doctor, Dumi, is a first class nitwit, quack and charlatan. Two months after the original surgery and after undergoing three more surgeries because Dumi didn’t sew her up right, she’s finally healing and reflecting. She wonders how much it would cost to put a contract out on Dumi. I wonder how much it would cost to put a contract out on Dumi.

Mairi’s beat up truck was uninsured but she drove it from Arizona anyway because she’s always had good luck driving and been in very few accidents. Edison bought her car insurance and the following week, a nice big Lexus rear ended her. Unfortunately, Manni was in the truck and the police checked his ID and arrested him. Apparently, he was still wanted in upstate Wisconsin for something or other and he spent the night in jail until Edison and Brick bailed him out.

Nonetheless, it has been an exciting adventure knowing Mairi and because I will soon become her stepmother, she and I will be together for a long time. I can’t wait to see what else she gets herself - and us -involved in.

(Names have been changed to protect the guilty)

Ann O. Nimus knows some fascinating people and loves to tell tales of them. Juliana Johnson is a good listener and tries to write her stories.

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